I am sad.

its funny how we can hide our saddness so successfully behind our smiles. the advice of 'try not to think bout it' didn't really work well for me. afterall..wad i did was to ignore the existence of my saddness. but that doesn't mean i am happy. coz the saddness is still there..deep down. somewhere. all my life. i avoided problems, confrontations. kept telling myself..it will be over soon. Just pretend nth happened will do. but nahz. that in turn just made me a person who is kept away from reality.but still. nth shall change. because i am more comfortable this way. hiding in my own shell of protection.